If Only I Hadn't Pretended
by Shadow in Midnight
Summary: Ikuto played Amu because of a bet, but she's already in love with him. A confession gone wrong tips the scales, and his sight is lost, as a price. But fate is greedy-2 fees must be paid, but only one can thrive. Knowing that nothing good will come out of it, she still helps. He hates her, but she loves him. Is love worth the price? Oneshot


~Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara! or the characters~

~This story was inspired by some other authors who were writing about love and erm…sight. It kinda got me thinking, so…yeah, here it is! ~

Cold white sheets rustled beneath me as I slowly got up. Everything was dark, black. The air was cold to my skin, freezing. But not as cold compared to my heart. I had frozen it, because of one man. Because of the one thing that had started it all-my vision.

I was just a normal girl, except for the annoyingly natural pink hair which stood out. My parents had somehow installed a 'cool and spicy' attitude within me, and it just stuck. Everything was normal in High School. Everything, until I set my eyes on Tsukiyomi Ikuto.

He was an outstanding senior-good in athletics, music, and a perfect gentleman with good looks to boot. The downside? He was a playboy. Not that anyone cared, right? Not anyone, until he set his target on me. It was a playful, normal bet-to make me fall in love with him within 2 months, or face the consequences.

Little did anyone know, the moment I had set my eyes on him, I had fallen head over heels with the blue-haired man. If it weren't for my 'cool and spicy' façade, his friends wouldn't have made the stupid bet of making me falling in love with him; he wouldn't have toyed with my feelings, and I wouldn't have done _that _to him.

He would walk up to me every morning, with that large but fake smile plastered on his face. I knew; I knew that everything he told me was a lie. But I still played along. I still went ahead, enjoying every moment with him. He too, went along, but with each day, I saw his smiles getting fainter, his eyes grazing away from me, his words getting harsher. But I pretended that I didn't notice. I pretended that nothing was wrong, and everything was the same as before. But how could something that was never there change?

Just before the end of the 2nd month, on the very last day of the bet, I called him to the rooftop. Under the blazing sunset, I confessed. I poured out my feelings to the bored but handsome man who stood before me. It was a nice sunset. A beautiful one, in fact. At least…that was the last thing he saw before I accidently pushed him off the roof.

He broke bones, and damaged his eyes. He had hit the ground leg-first, which had absorbed most of the impact. But he uses his legs to play sports. His arm went next. He damaged the nerves. But he uses his arms to play instruments. He damaged his cornea…and lost his vision. No…the last thing he saw…wasn't the beautiful image of the setting sun. It was his most hated image that would be burnt into his memory, the person who scarred him for life. It was me.

His cornea had been stabbed with particularly sharp rocks on his left, and his right had been snagged by the broken wire on the roof. I didn't know that the fence was broken…I didn't push him too hard…or did I…? He could never see again, unless he got a transplant. And so far, no one was suitable for it, until I was tested…and it was a positive match.

I decided to donate them to Ikuto. I had seen enough. The world was a scary place. I would rather not see any more of its wrath, then to be satisfied with what I already have seen. I would have to accept it. These were the consequences for pushing Ikuto…my punishment. The punishment I would accept with open arms.

I told the doctors to not tell him. Not tell anyone anything. Let him live the rest of his life in peace. Without me, the person who ruined it all. It was for the best. They agreed. The moment it was finished, everything was absorbed by darkness. It was comfortable, comforting. I could get by, living in the dark. I always lived in the shadows; a little darker doesn't make a difference.

Everything was fine after that. Ikuto has recovered. Everyone has forgotten me, except my family, who visits me once a month. Even so, I can't remember them. I can't see them. I'm not part of their 'love' anymore. I was just a burden.

"Oh dear, Amu's crying again…" someone wipes my tears away as my body feels lighter, freer. A small smile crossed over my blank face as tears poured down. It has been 15 years since I last lost my sight. Now is the time to embrace light once again. With a final sigh, I let myself go, and enter the warm light, just like Ikuto's embrace. A final sigh, and I am no longer a burden. That final sigh, and I am gone, forever, only left in memories which will soon fly away into the wind, scattering like sand, forgotten, unnoticed.

~End of If only I hadn't pretended~

"You'll never know pain until you look into the eyes of someone you love , and they look away."

OK, rather…sad fanfic? I guess? I tried to make the first part more detached-I hope some of you can tell. This one was pretty easy to write-maybe cuz sometimes I also feel like that, but either way, it felt really good to write this. It's pretty much inspired by other authors who wrote about sight and love, but it was really…how do I say this…emotional, to me. There was all this character and feeling mambo jumbo, ya get it? My words aren't placed correctly, I know. But I hope you liked this failed attempt~


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